How to choose the right clients.

Your business is no business if it has no clients who pay you for your work. And the kind of business you have ­– how enjoyable and profitable it is – depends more on who your clients are, and less on how good you are at what you do.

Your clients shape your business.

A client is a person or a group that uses your professional advice or services and is willing to pay for them. The kind of client that you take on will determine the real success of your business.

Most people say “yes” to any client with a checkbook. That’s because most people operate from a place of fear of going out of business. They put very little time or energy in assessing if the client is a good client for them. Often times they discover that the client with that huge budget turned out to be a nightmare to work with.

That’s not healthy. Not for you and not for your business.

Unless you take time to identify which client is calling you to serve them, you are bound to take on the wrong client and get yourself in trouble, yet again. It’s easy to be seduced by big name clients with big budgets and fame-promising projects.

Nevertheless, beware.

You owe it to your business to choose the right clients. When you do, and I’m sure you’ve experienced this at some point, there is a healthy flow to the work, the client does not question your fees and the whole experience of working together is joyful throughout. Plus, you will always do your best work for the right clients.

When you work with the right client, you are free to truly be the creator that you are. Your work, your choices, your ideas aren’t questioned or challenged. Your client trusts you and, they will most likely be back for more work and happily refer you to their friends and colleagues.

I’ve served clients for over 25 years and one thing I found in common, in both my career as a designer and in my current work as a coach, is that there are only two types of clients out there.

There is the “save me” client and there is the “lead me” client.

The “save me” client is operating from fear. They like to be in control, they want to call the shots and they want to hire you to be an order taker. They want deliverables. They want to hit certain goals. And they want you to help them look good.

The “save me” client has very little integrity. Often times, they don’t stick to agreed deadlines, they change the scope of the project mid way, and they expect you to be at their beck and call. Their world is usually a mess. They are unorganized, unprepared and are more concerned with looking out for themselves.

They will be late for meetings, not pay you on time (or sometimes not at all), they will abuse and disrespect you and will quickly drain your time and profits.

The “save me” client is bad news. They aren’t willing to take responsibility for the mess they created in their business and look for someone (you) to fix things for them.

I can’t tell you how many businesses I’ve coached that are used to having this type of client as the norm.

Then there’s the “lead me” client.

This is the client who is smart enough to know where their limitations are and when to hire a professional to help solve their problem and lead them towards a solution.

They are opened to be lead because they trust you. They see the value you provide and are willing to let you do your magic. They believe in your vision. They respect your opinion. They allow you to do your job.

A “lead me” client has high integrity. They operate from a place of commitment, good communication and trust. They will allow space for questions, they pay well because they know you are a valuable asset to their success and they allow reasonable time for the work.

They are more concerned about finding an expert they can trust than getting the lowest bid. They are willing to listen and take advice and have a single point of contact that actually has the power to make decisions. They participate in your process, but not too much. They allow you to lead the way.

Imagine if every one of your clients was a “lead me” client. What would your business look like? Where would your stress level be?

Knowing how to identify if the prospect whom you are talking to is a “lead me” or “save me” client is crucial. You need to learn to identify the red flags early on. You need to know which questions to ask and listen not only to what the answers are but also to how they are being delivered.

This is a skill that takes time to develop.

But that’s not enough.

Attracting a “lead me” client also requires smart positioning and authentic marketing. Without those, you will spend more time saying “yes” to the wrong clients more often. If your business is attracting more “save me” type clients, your current positioning and marketing is failing as well as the language you use and the way you show up.

You are the creator of your clients.

To attract more “lead me” clients you must lead first.

You must put your best self out there and value your work in a way that projects confidence and trust. If you are operating from a place of fear and low self worth, you will attract the kind of clients that respond to that.

Being a leader in your business means that you are willing to say “no” when you identify the wrong client for you. It means that you don’t compromise yourself. That you respect your work enough to walk away from what may seem to be a good opportunity if it comes from the wrong source.

Image: © 2015 Peleg Top

Say yes to the mess.

We all go through periods in life when things are a bit of a mess.

When I say “mess”, I don’t mean the mess you’d see on a typical reality show where people’s lives are totally out of control.

The mess I refer to is the time when we go through significant changes.  When we lose what appears to be our “everything” and we don’t know what to do next.

For some it could be a loss of a job or a major client. For some it could be a loss of a relationship. Whatever the mess is, it is generally filled with fear of the unknown, self doubt and worry.

How you manage yourself inside this mess depends a lot on your inner strength and your ability to cope with the unknown. If you are not trained in how to handle anxiety, how to live with ambiguity, and welcome patience — you won’t be able to flee from this terrible “cloud of unknowing.”

This space is often referred to as a “liminal space”. The in-between space. Where you’ve left the tried and true and haven’t yet been able to replace it with anything else. When you are between your old comfort zone and the newness of what’s to come.

The liminal space is where transformation takes place.

When we learn to allow this space to exist, we can experience tremendous self growth.

But most of us are afraid of this space. We avoid it.

We compromise our lives, our relationships, and the things that really matter to us just so we don’t have to go through the pain of living in the unknown.  

The liminal space is a waiting space. It can actually be the most important time in your life if you allow it to be. This space has power and gifts.

Our life can seem like a mess during this time, but if we simply say yes to this mess, if we allow ourselves to be just a bit out of control of needing to know how things will resolve, we can tap into deeper inner wisdom.

I suspect I’ve become an expert at living in this liminal space.

I’ve experienced it twice in my life. First, when I decided to sell my design firm ten years ago, not having any idea what I wanted to do next. And then more recently, a divorce that prompted a two year journey around the world where I went soul searching for who I wanted to become.    

As romantic as traveling the world may sound to you, this space was not an easy place for me to live in. It was hard, dark, and often times, a lonely space. I had to allow myself to be drawn out of "business as usual" and remain patiently on the "threshold”.

I’m the kind of guy that is used to being in control of his life. The master of his own destiny. And here I was traveling from country to country, having to give up control of knowing what’s going to happen next. There were days where I had no idea where I would be sleeping next or how I would be getting to my next destination.

But as hard as some of those days and nights were, I had faith. I knew that being inside this space, allowing the mystery to unfold, would only lead me to where I am supposed to be.

I knew this because I know the value of deep inner work.  

That’s why I kept saying yes to the mess.

I said yes to healing my grief, yes to facing my fixations, and yes to knowing my shadows, all of which I avoided for so many years.

And the results?

Miracles. My life is in the best place it has ever been and my work is feeling more powerful than ever.

A liminal space is unavoidable. And often times, we aren’t aware that we are in it. However,  if you are willing to wait and not run away from facing your mess, I can promise you that the inner work you will do during this time will transform your life and lead you to a bigger, better place.

Photo: Santa Fe Sky © 2014 Peleg Top 

“Stepping back from the day-to-day business activity refreshes your brain, offers fresh perspectives and opens your mind to new ideas and creativity.”

Gretchen Schisla, the firm's principal, reflected on the experience in her monthly newsletter. I thought Gretchen captured a lot of important ideas on the value of having a company retreat and gave some great tips on how to prepare for your own company retreat.

Thank you Gretchen for the insights!

Retreats are good for business
by Gretchen Schisla 

Corporate retreats are considered by some to be an unnecessary expense or event, but in reality, they offer huge benefits. A well-planned retreat presents a company with precious time to strengthen the business core, while allowing employees the time to reflect and build their best personal selves. Many have found these events to be life-changing.

“Retreats help us to break away from the mechanical life and move into a space that helps to discover and reestablish oneself to grow mentally. It releases one’s limitations, fears and takes us to a world of new possibilities.” This quote from Retreat Network reinforces what I believe — a retreat not only acts as a catalyst to propel a company forward, it also reinvigorates individuals on a personal level.

Last month, our Enrich team headed to Santa Fe for a 4-day retreat. While 2014 had been an exciting, action-packed and productive year for us, I realized that we had spent very little time connecting, reflecting and setting the tone for what’s next in our business. In addition, I wanted to dedicate time to rediscovering what’s important to each of us — in both our personal and our professional, Enrich lives.

If your company is on the smaller side like ours, a retreat can be especially advantageous. Stepping back from the day-to-day business activity refreshes your brain, offers fresh perspectives and opens your mind to new ideas and creativity. It communicates to each person in the firm that they are not only valued, but acknowledges through actions that they’re a key part of what makes the company thrive. Company leaders claim that they support happy, healthy employees, but how often do they 'walk the talk' by creating this type of experience for them?

One month after our Santa Fe retreat, we’ve put much of what we’ve learned into action. The retreat has had such a powerful impact that I’m already setting a budget for our next retreat in 2016!

Here are my recommendations for hosting an awesome business retreat:

• Choose a well-planned destination. The location should be one that everyone can get excited about and view as an escape. Remember, the idea of a retreat is to leave the office behind, so turning off technology is a must.
• Select a facility that’s special. Retreat centers or larger, VRBO homes with enough sleeping accommodations, ample space and common areas can offer the perfect setting.
• Hire a coach or facilitator that knows your team. If you choose to work with someone new, Skype with them beforehand so everyone can introduce themselves and establish a baseline relationship.
• Evaluate what topics you really need to cover most, and create a supporting agenda. Before you leave, share the agenda with the team, so no one’s left in the dark. This will give everyone an opportunity to agree on the topics and offer their input.
• Make time for relaxation. Once at the location, plan to begin with an activity that allows everyone to ease into the situation and let their guard down. Indulge in a massage, take a walk in nature, or participate in yoga or meditation to set the tone of slowing down. Make sure you factor downtime into the schedule throughout the event.
• Stick to the planned agenda and schedule. While new things may come up, don’t wander too far off the schedule — so you can get the maximum value from this time and touch on all the points you wanted your team to cover.
• Share meals, and if time permits, prepare a meal together. This allows time for the team to reconnect and check in with one another. Nothing is more powerful than a shared meal.
• Encourage everyone to step out of their comfort zone. Two of our designers were handed a mystery box of ingredients and given a one hour timeframe to create lunch for the team. They enjoyed the challenge, and while they cooked, the rest of the group maximized time by meeting on an alternate topic.
• Learn new tools and practice them, both during the retreat and afterward. With the help of our facilitator, we focused on leadership, enneagram personality styles, crucial conversations and blind spots, all of which have helped us to become more aware and effective in our jobs.
• Commit to putting things learned into action, once you’re back in the office. As with conferences, we get inspired, but once back, we lose the fire and commitment to create change. Make an agreement among the group that this won’t happen when everyone returns to the daily grind. Create the space to follow up and revisit what you’ve learned.

Here are some takeaways from the Enrich retreat:

Gretchen: In setting up the retreat, I had a combination of business agenda items and internal areas to focus on – to help strengthen our company core. The result included a tight focus on who we are as a firm, where we want to go, and how we can serve clients better in 2015. We’re a tight group that really supports each individual's contribution. The retreat gave us a chance to celebrate this, it gives me great satisfaction to demonstrate to each person how important they are.

Suzanne: One of the most impactful parts of our retreat was the study of our enneagram personality styles. Prior to the event, we had been asked to complete a short questionnaire, which was then analyzed by our coach. Understanding how I operate internally and how I interact with those around me, especially my co-workers and prospects, is an invaluable tool. It will allow me to become a more effective communicator within my team.

Kory: When you work for a small company, you really do become a family. The retreat not only strengthened this bond, but helped us improve it. The fact that we had dedicated time to reconnect, recharge and focus only on ourselves, was such a powerful thing. Learning about each of our personalities was also key. Such insight not only helps your relationship with your team, it also helps you become a better communicator with your clients.

Bruce: There were many powerful things that I took away from the retreat. The retreat allowed us time to reflect on the past year and set goals for the coming months. We wrapped up the event with a creative activity that gave each of us the opportunity to intuitively collage, while thinking about a theme to guide us through the upcoming year. The collage sits on my desk and is a constant reminder of what I took away from the retreat and what I want to my year to look like.

The invisible bubble that keeps you safe (and limits your potential)

Every moment of every day, whether you realise it or not, you are surrounded by an invisible bubble.

The bubble protects you from the world outside. It keeps you safe. It helps you cope with reality, maintain a sense of normality, and manage your day-to-day business.

And it limits your potential.

The bubble is created by your beliefs - your ideas about yourself, about the world, and about reality. Many of these beliefs are useful and harmless. But some of them are misguided and limiting.

Limiting beliefs are with you at all times. But because they are so close and familiar, you don't even see them. You have forgotten they exist.

Only when you see your limiting beliefs can you truly wake up and be motivated to make a change. A wonderful thing happens when you ‘pop the bubble’ of your beliefs. You see things as they really are. Possibilities open up. You trust and take new action. You grow.

I've met people who have been victims of their own beliefs for years. They've been stuck in one place in their career and the fear of failing or not knowing what to do next keeps them from taking a risk and making a change. Generally, the sooner a person sees their limiting beliefs and starts to think differently, the better chance they have to get what they really want in life.

But just because you see your limiting beliefs and start thinking differently it doesn't mean that change and transformation will happen quickly. Each of us has a lifetime of limiting beliefs to unload and that process will take time. I promise you.

People hire me to coach them and what mainly happens in our process together is that we ‘pop’ the bubble many times, until limiting beliefs and fears disappear. Instead, they become inspired and motivated people who live their lives coming from love.

When I coach someone, a very special bond develops between us. Because we spend so many hours in deep conversation, it's sometimes hard to see immediate results as we're still inside the process.

But once in a while, at very special moments, I get to watch a person's life transform and feel the pride and joy in doing what I do. That's a big part of why I love to coach. I love the ability to wake a person up, show them their own limiting beliefs and guide them towards living a life filled with love and integrity.

One such person is Rochelle Seltzer, a powerful woman I’ve coached for a few years now.  I want to tell you why you need to know about her.

I met Rochelle while presenting a weekend seminar to a group of creative agency owners in Boston back in 2009. At the time Rochelle had been running a medium size design firm for many years. I remember how engaged Rochelle was during that workshop and how excited she was to learn from me.

Soon after that weekend, she hired me as her coach to help her grow her agency. What she didn't realize was that she hired me to help her grow herself.    

Rochelle's own limiting beliefs were getting in the way of her growth. She wasn't motivated to grow her design firm much and was feeling pretty burnt out. Her heart wasn't in it anymore. She was clueless to what she could become outside of being a designer.  She felt stuck.

It wasn't until Rochelle let go of her old beliefs and started believing in herself and her creativity that transformation started to happen.

After about a year of coaching, Rochelle decided to sell her firm and follow her heart to discover who she wanted to become. She gracefully said farewell to a career as a designer and creative agency owner, and became a student again. She slowed down her life enough to be able to listen to what her heart truly wanted. And she fell in love with coaching - and trained as a coach herself.

Today Rochelle is in a whole new place. A bigger place. A place where she is working in concert with her mind and heart. A coach and creative healer with special talents and gifts that serves our creative industry in a whole new way.

I have tremendous respect for Rochelle, for following her heart and going through the rough parts to get to where she is today. I am sure she will agree that her journey of transforming wasn't always easy, but was well worth the hard work.

This is a proud moment for a coach. A moment where I get to witness an evolution, a healing of a person, and to celebrate their contribution to the world. I'm humbled at the power of coaching and want to celebrate it with you too. I invite you to take a few minutes and visit Rochelle's website, read some of her articles and do some of the creative exercises she created for you.  

How to identify (and change) your limiting beliefs

There’s a very good chance you’ve created a limiting belief that is stopping you from doing what you think you can’t. But how can you detect that invisible bubble?

Your self awareness is key. Start listening to yourself talk, and notice where in your life you find yourself saying “I can’t…” or “I don’t know how…”

The more you catch yourself saying “I can’t”, the more you can start seeing the bubble you’ve created. And when that happens, challenge the thought.

Ask yourself: “Really? Says who?”

You may be surprised at the insight that comes up in that moment.

If you start doing the things you think believe you ‘can’t’ do and stop doing the things you believe you ‘should’ do you’ll start experiencing life on a whole new level.

What beliefs have YOU overcome?

Have you ever become aware of a limiting belief and let go of it?

What happened? What did you learn?

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